Being Martha

I have struggled with this post for quite a long time. I keep trying to write it, and then I worry it will just sound like stealth bragging, conceit, or whining. But the urge to write it is not going away, so I will attempt to push through with it.

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When I was a child, I was always incensed by the “unjust” parables. The 99 sheep versus the lost one, the prodigal son, and Martha and Mary (not a parable, I know, but go with me here). Especially Martha and Mary.

I think to some extent, every one struggles with how counter-intuitive these parables are, but over the years, I have come to realise that I am the lost sheep and the prodigal son, and thank God that God is not fair. But I am also Martha. Definitely Martha.

Martha resonates I think because whilst the others are actual parables, and therefore feel exaggerated, or at least exemplary, Martha is, Martha was, and Martha feels real. We have all been there. Demanding justice, asking for fairness, and “why can’t she help?”

And the thing is, Jesus doesn’t tell Martha to sit down. He says that Mary shall not be made to stand up. It is unfair.

I was prepared for many struggles when I became a mum, I read the blogs and the manifestos and the “you won’t sleep” and “your house will be a disaster” and the “you won’t be able to take a shower for days” and I was fully ready to give myself a break. What I didn’t expect was to be the sorted one. Being organised and having a clean house, that took me by surprise.

So I am Martha. And the thing they don’t tell you about Martha is the internal monologue which leads to “why can’t she help?”. The Evil One whispering in her ear “No-one has your back. You can’t let go of a single thing, because no-one has your back. The others are struggling more. And no matter how nice they are, they kind of resent you for being the sorted one. So no-one will have your back. You are all alone.”

That’s why, in my head, I'm often catching myself thinking: “why can’t she help? Why can’t I be the helped one for once?”

On better days, I know why she can't. Because Mary does struggle more, that is why she is at the feet of Christ. According to tradition, Mary had sinned heavily before she found herself clinging to Christ. There is a desperation in her clinging, like the mother of a sick child, grasping and gasping for air in the struggle. 

That’s not to say I think Martha is not clinging to Christ. She seems to need him in a different way. Martha is sorted, she knows what to do and she does it. Just like that. But she also believes. She goes and tells Him off for being late, because she knows had He been on time, Lazarus would have lived – her faith is strong, she just hasn’t quite let go of the world like her sister has. She is the practical one, the sorted one. And I can see the excesses in her tendency, I really, really can. Being worldly. Pride. I can see why Christ rebukes her.

But all the same, I kind of want to say “I hear you, sister. I’ll have your back”.

Will you have mine?

The Ten Best Baby Books We Own (in English)

I recently finished a very good book (this one), which helped me re-focus on the joy of reading aloud with the children, even when they are too young for stories, but can delight in the rhythms and cadences of words. Sarah Mackenzie points out that the most important thing is to help your child feel connected to you, and bonding through books is the best!

The only hiccough with very small children is that many books aimed for them are counting/colour/animal primers, and unless the illustrations are REALLY captivating, you will soon want to pull your eyes and ears out. But children also want to read them over and over again. Which is a problem.

So, ideally, what we need are books that can withstand 34909285687 readings in a row, and that's a pretty tall order. No adult book is ever submitted to that kind of scrutiny! But that is not even all! The other things you need are books that are short enough to keep the one year-old interested, with beautiful enough images to keep the 2 and 4 year-olds looking, and language that gives enough pleasure to the adult reader that s/he won't mind going straight back to the beginning at the end.

So, without further ado, I present to you, the ten books in our house which come closest to accomplishing this feat (in the order they appear on my shelves, so pretty random!):

1 - Whose Toes Are Those? - Jabari Asim

This is a very sweet book, completely delightful, and the images are gorgeous. It's in pretty constant demand in our house, and I don't mind one bit!

NB: It's an American book, so at one point, it talks about going "all the way to England", which is obviously not that impressive for us, but no-one batted an eyelid.

2 - Barnyard Dance - Sandra Boynton

I wouldn't say the illustrations are the most beautiful I have ever seen, but this book is pure fun, and I dare you to pretend like you don't want to join in the dance just a teensy bit!

3 - Peepo - Janet and Allan Ahlberg

The Ahlbergs are fabulous at creating books that you just want to look at that little bit longer, because of all the sweet details in every image. This one actually encourages you to do just that, and it's a pretty good antidote to the 327594382 re-readings which WILL happen.

4 - Each Peach Pear Plum - Janet and Allan Ahlberg

Another Ahlberg masterpiece. Even the very small children with no knowledge of the fairy tales they refer to, love looking for the hidden characters, and it keeps the book delightful for the older ones when they suddenly "get" the references.

5 - Monkey And Me - Emily Gravett

I love Emily Gravett. She has the ability to tell stories in very few words, the drawings are absolutely delightful but also sparse. I don't know how she does it! 

NB: As you can see from the title, the book is not perfectly grammatically correct - she's reproducing the language pattern of a child - but if that is enough to keep you from it, then it's your loss!

6 - Where's Bear - Emily Gravett

This was Jude's number one absolute favourite for the longest time. This is another example of Emily Gravett's genius, with even simpler language.

Her books are some of the ones I always seek out, because I know she will not disappoint. I would have added Matilda's Cat to this top 10, except we don't actually own it, we just borrow it from the library. A lot.

7 - Oi Frog - Kes Gray

Hilarious, lots of fun details, the kids will be reciting it along in no time. Plus, it draws attention to the mechanics of rhyming. What's not to love!

Actually, one thing: the author has since written 2 or 3 more on exactly the same pattern, and that is a bit annoying. But just get the original one and ignore the rest!

8 - Sheep in a Jeep - Nancy Shaw

I see a bit of a pattern here, because this is another example of a book with very simple language used beautifully and paired with lovely illustrations with lots of details that keep you looking. Also, I still chuckle a bit at the end, and that is no mean feat, because I have read this book A LOT.

9 - Goodnight Moon - Margaret Wise Brown

Of course. All children are completely and universally mesmerised by this book. And it IS lovely to read. But really, you need to read this analysis of it by Raquel D'Apice on The Ugly Volvo, and this book will become the official funniest thing you own. Trust me and go read her piece.

10 - Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See - Bill Martin Jr

This one is beautiful and will delight your children so much you won't mind re-reading again. 

Bonus - Little Miss Austen: Pride And Prejudice - Jennifer Adams

My children aren't actually that interested in this one but I am, so I don't care, and I'll keep reading it. And that's saying a lot for a counting primer.

Here you go. Now you can go read to your babies.

Coming soon:

What's up with the French baby books?

Best picture books we own (in English)

Best picture books we own (in French)

Mais où sont passés les (bons) livres pour bébé ?

J’ai récemment cherché à compléter notre collection de livres pour tout petits (pour l’anniversaire de Mathilde – le reste de la famille en a assez que je ne leur donne que des idées de livres pour les anniversaires de mes enfants, du coup je suis obligée de les acheter moi-même, ma vie est clairement un enfer). 

Plein de livres!

J’ai trouvé plein de choses fantastiques (voir ici pour les meilleurs livres pour tout petits), mais j’ai bien dû me rendre à l’évidence, en français, il n’y avait rien de rien.

Alors, c’est sûr, je suis un peu difficile. Je cherche des livres très simples, avec des illustrations captivantes (jolies c’est mieux, mais intéressantes suffit), je ne veux pas juste une liste de mots sans dialogue, ni une histoire complexe. Juste des phrases qui font plaisir à lire (poétiques, super, mais rigolotes c’est très bien aussi), des répétitions ou des rimes pour aider le tout petit à remarquer les mots et puis quelque chose d’intéressant, pour que je survive aux huit mille inévitables relectures.

Les anglophones font ça très bien. Les francophones, franchement moins. 

C’est une vraie perte je trouve, parce que moi j’adore la façon dont les Anglais utilisent les nonsense poems, tous ces textes qui ont pour but de faire rire et/ou simplement d’encourager la dégustation des mots (la longue tradition des Lewis Caroll, Hilaire Belloc ou Spike Milligan) et à mon avis ça commence là, dans les jolis livres pour tout petits. Qui sont bien plus une préparation pour une vie passée à apprécier les livres que les livres qu’on voit partout, à tirettes, roulettes ou petites-puces-qui-font-de-la-musique. Parce que souvent le but de ces livres gadgets (qui ont plein d’avantages, hein, on est d’accord !) c’est de laisser l’enfant tout seul avec le livre. Des livres-jouets donc.

Où sont les livres qu’on lit avec son petit, pour partager ensemble le plaisir des mots ?

Dans toute ma collection (et j’ai une grande collection – j’ai un petit problème avec les livres pour enfants) j’ai réussi à en trouver trois qui correspondent à mes exigences. Et qui ne sont pas du tout au niveau de mes préférés en anglais. Ça fait pas beaucoup. Donc allez ! Auteurs ! Un petit effort !

Tutti Frutti – Modeste Madoré



Mes parents ont ramené ce livre de la Réunion et ça a été le premier livre auquel Jude a accroché. Une façon très mignonne d’introduire en même temps les noms des fruits et des expressions idiomatiques, avec en plus de jolies images pleines de détails.

Les Orteils n’ont pas de Nom - Jean Leroy



Un autre gros succès, jouant sur la répétition et un façon plus intéressante d’introduire du vocabulaire qu’un énième livre-liste.

La Moustache d’Eustache- Sandra Solinet



Simple et joli. L’idée est très sympa, même si encore une fois, on est très loin du niveau des anglais.

Mention Spéciale 1 : Limite bébé/ plus grand

Deux TRES jolis livres en ce qui concerne les illustrations, mais qui sont des traductions du japonais, donc la langue n’y est pas franchement remarquable, ce qui pousse leur intérêt vers les plus grands, puisque l’histoire prend le devant sur les mots.

La Pomme Rouge – Kazuo Iwamura



Légèrement plus simple que ses autres classiques (la série « La famille souris » est et reste un énorme succès chez nous) avec des dessins magnifiques, mais je ne l’ai pas vu en cartonné, ce qui rend la lecture avec les tout-petits plus difficile et ils ont moins accroché.

Bloub-Bloub-Bloub –Yuichi Kasano



Un livre mignon et rigolo, mais la traduction (ou l’original ?) rend le langage un peu maladroit et inutilement compliqué. Et encore une fois, je ne l’ai vu qu’en tout petit format, clairement conçu avec des apprentis-lecteurs en tête plutôt que de très jeunes enfants

Mention Spéciale 2 :

Deux livres avec des concepts rigolos, mais avec un petit bémol

Un Livre – Hervé Tullet



Mes garçons aiment beaucoup, mais le concept est ici largement plus important qu’une histoire, que les images ou que les mots. Limite livre-jouet donc.
Hervé Tullet a en plus l’air d’avoir décliné l’idée en 48 versions, ce qui m’agace toujours un peu.

Mes Petits Bobos - Mathilde Cabanas



Un concept mignon, mais les dessins n’ont pas grand intérêt, et encore une fois, c’est un livre tout petit, donc pas idéal.

NB : Je ne parle ici que de livres pour tout petits, les 0-2/3 ans, j’ai (et j’adore !) plein de livres en français pour les plus grands.

NBB : J’ai le même avec les poèmes pour enfants. Tout ce que j’ai trouvé en français était niais alors que j’ai un livre entier de petites perles en anglais. Du coup pour les poèmes à apprendre pour Morning Time, on est passé directement aux classiques.

NBBB : On refuse de lire en français des choses qui ont été écrites en anglais à l’origine, ce qui nous limite aussi, bien évidemment.

NBBBB: (cet étrange systeme que je viens d'inventer pour ajouter des notes en fin de page n'a aucun sens) si vous avez des livres a me conseiller qui remplissent mon énorme cahier des charges, n'hésitez SURTOUT PAS!!! Sharing is caring.