7QTs: Not Crawling, Not Housekeeping and Temperaments

So I have lots of little points I want to make, but none quite enough for a post. What to do, what to do? If only there was a thing on the internet for unrelated jumbles of thoughts?

Ha.

Anyway, without further ado:

1.

Labilou is trying SO hard to crawl, it's hilarious. He gets on all four alright, does the Roll Over, the 360, the Oops I'm Going Backward Now, but mostly he does this (soundtrack in the background by Jude Songbird Should-be-napping Patapon - JSSP to his friends):

He's quite cheery about it though, and anyway, I'm in no rush to have him mobile (I learned my lesson the first time around thankyouverymuch).

2. 

To file under the "Parenting Rookies Think They Can Teach You Things" category, I've got this system about housekeeping which is working pretty well at the moment, I call it "Three Things" (which is a misnomer, but I don't care). 

I've read many a post about how to manage housekeeping with kidlets around, mostly revolving around the concept of "Do A Bit At A Time" or "Have A Task A Day" or "Twenty Minutes And No More". Basically hell for this choleric at the keyboard. 

Because how do I get to win at housekeeping can I feel like I have completed the task of housekeeping, if by definition I am leaving it unfinished? 

Easy: I just drastically reduce the definition of "clean house" to three things (and a couple more), I do them, tell myself I won achieved, and only tackle the rest when they get truly dire/ my mother is coming to stay. Easy Peasy. So "a clean house" is now: downstairs floors swept, counters and tables wiped, dishes done, toys picked up and bed made. Done. Laundry is an ad hoc thing depending on the weather (still rocking the "no space for a tumble dryer" fun over here), so partly out of my hands (which means I am allowed to ignore it a lot).

Why, yes, this photo has nothing to do with the topic at hand.

I may just have to patent this genius idea I think. I shall call it "Three Things, Or More Like Five Plus Laundry On Non-Rainy Days" I'm sure it will catch on in no time.

3.

As you can see from the previous take, I have finished The Temperament God Gave You, and as anyone who isn't me would have been able to tell you long before, I am basically all choleric. So is my mother. And my older brother (with a dash of melancholic). My sister is a sanguine, my dad so completely a melancholic it's as if he had been following a script. My little brother is difficult to pin down, but probably melancholic.

Now Simon is phlegmatic-melancholic. And his family is all phlegmatic/sanguine.

Add that to the language barrier and I can't for the life of me work out why there has been so many misunderstanding and miscommunication between our families. If any of you can work it out, feel free to let me know.

4.

My friends and family haven't quite been pushed to murdering me over my obsession with keen interest in the four temperaments yet, so I thing I will do a survey of my favourite historical characters and appoint them a temperament soon (No Bandwagon Left Un-Jumped is my motto).

Quick preview: Talleyrand was totally a phlegmatic-sanguine. Fact.

5.

My friend dragged me to confession last week (because she is a good friend) and put a stop to months of spiritual sloth. To celebrate, I finally acted upon an Adoration prompting I had been ignoring for a while and started having a running list of prayer intentions. It's in a pretty notebook at the moment (I love notebooks - no, actually, I love all stationery), but I am thinking of having it on display.

No matter what the problem, a pretty notebook is probably the way forward

Such a simple trick, such a difference in the likelihood I will offer up frustrations instead of venting them!

6.

To the Brits/ Knowers of Brits among you: I want to do a new "Lost in Translation" post, because they are the most fun to write, but every time I think about British ways, I end up focusing on all the Brexit-Doom-And-Gloom-Why-Do-They-Hate-Me funk, so I need ideas. 

Anniversary cricket

I've done: the north, the Ashes, the English summer, historical stereotypes, biscuits, cricket, the weather and tea. What is missing? Or should I do a "French people are weird" one?

7.

That's it. But Kelly has more. I must dash and sing the nap-striker to sleep to his favourite tune of "Happy Birthday".

Where we found him last night

{SQT}: Clever Romans and Darcy for Ever

Hello, hello internet! Ready for some random thoughts? Here goes:

1.

Something momentous happened this week.

No, bigger than that.

Bigger again.

Are you ready?

I ACTUALLY SEWED TOGETHER ALL MY KNITTING PROJECTS!

I know, right?

Can't quite believe it myself.

Here's the proof:

Isn't it just the worst part of knitting? It is. There is no argument. Now to find some buttons.

2.

We've been making steady progress on the crazy plan, and I'm so glad some people have decided to join in. This is going to be fun! 

So far, I'm really enjoying Don Quixote, but I can't help but feel a little sad that I don't know more of the chivalry books Cervantes mentions, because I think the book was originally truly hilarious because of that, rather than merely quite amusing as it appears to me.

Also, I can't decide whether to skip or re-read the novels on the list which we have already read. On the one hand, it feels like my understanding would benefit greatly from it, but on the other, do I really want to read Madame Bovary again?

Not sure.

Although this (excellent) film did make me want to err on the side of reading it again.

Anyway, that's a problem for later. I shall finish Don Quixote, I shall.

(Did you see this in your head when you read the last line? Me too.)

3.

In Patapon-news, Jude has started to be really into photos lately. He keeps pointing at them and trying to say the names of the people in them.

(As an aside, this frame really needs to be hung up on the wall as Jude just picks it up and brings it to wherever I am, and my spooky sixth-sense can see this habit not ending well.)

4.

Also, we have discovered that he is now old enough to actually enjoy the park, running around shouting with glee as he clambers up the structures and down the slides (sorry, no pictures, I was running after him).

This is a problem, as he now seems to need to go outside. A real dilemma for the pathological homebody on this side of the computer. 

At what age am I officially allowed to leave him be, whilst I read a book on the bench?

When can I send him on his own?

Is 16 months really too young for it?

5.

I've been enjoying this podcast immensely lately (nothing else will make me do the ironing), but listening to the stories and schemes of Roman emperors, I can't help but wonder at how much better they were at being savvy politicians.

via Hadrian is my fave.

Were they really of a better mettle than the current public-opinion-courting, short-sighted blunderers who seem to people our government these days? Or are we giving people credit for things they cobbled together just as haphazardly as our current politicians, but which turned out to be great ideas in the end?

Are they being made retrospectively clever?

Or is our system just breeding mediocrity?

It is quite depressing to think about, really.

6.

My beautiful little sister has now flown over to Dubai for a year. Just when Jude was getting really good at saying "Tata Baba".

Our hearts are broken.

(This post is brought to you by the P&P obsession support group. Points if you can tell what bit I am quoting from).

7.

Finally, to answer this week's official Link-toberfest bonus question, this appears to be my 7th {SQT} post, including the first one, where I was wondering whether or not I should start a blog. Ha. That ship has sailed!

{SQT} 7 Quick Jude-isms

I apologise in advance for finding these hilarious and thinking they are worth sharing. Please humour the doting mother.

1.

Jude is starting to talk, and creating a happy mixture of French and English at the moment. We may or may not encourage him.

For example, he says "bEEEEze" [please, for those among you who don't speak toddler] in a very commanding voice when he wants us to read a book or give him more raspberries (How many raspberries are enough raspberries I hear you ask? All the raspberries.) but he says "MAT-ze" [merci] to express his thankfulness. 

bEEze

Banane is betting he will systematically pick the shorter of the two options he has and create his own Frenglish-for-lazies.

bEEEEEEEEEEze!

2.

He is turning into a right little Englishman nonetheless, as he gets ridiculously excited when Daddy makes "TEA!" and expresses his frustration with a very restrained "oh! dear!"

TEA! Guys! TEA! Over here!

3.

The Frenchness pierces through, though, as he has developed a special brand of complain-y "oh naaaaaaan" to mock his mother. 

I couldn't catch it on camera, so here is the closest approximation.

Oh, naaaaan!

4.

He charges around the house at top speed, doing nothing much other than, you know, charging around.

Such photos only come in blurry setting. Sorry.

He thinks it's the best game ever and you can hear his uproarious laughter zooming away then back.

He also thinks going "au dodo" is the best thing ever.

Strange boy.

5.

Parenting is a tough thing to do, especially under the sharp observing eye of our offspring. 

Why Jude has started telling himself "non Jude! [mumble, mumble, mumble]" I couldn't possibly imagine.

He also knows exactly what he is not supposed to do, and will generally come to check on me shaking his head or saying "no! no! no!" if I am not prompt enough to correct him.

No, no, no.

I can't decide whether this is a parenting fail or a win.

6.

He HATES having his face wiped (which is a problem, since he has also decided that he would rather starve than have us help him, and he is not exactly skillful with his spoon yet). So he does a dramatic "TA -TAAAA -TAAAAAAAA" every time the wipes come out.

I certainly do NOT need to be cleaned up, mother.

And still wriggles his way through it.

We may have started referring to the wipes as "the Tatata".

Or not. Surely we would have a sense of how ridiculous we sound.

7.

Jude is also very interested in his soon-arriving sibling and will point at my bump saying "bébé" every time he gets a chance.

Although he sometimes misses, and locates the baby in my thigh, bottom, the top-button of my jeans, his own bellybutton or Simon's arm.

I don't know if this is a sign of too much Greek mythology, or not enough anatomy lessons.

Thank you for indulging me. Now off to Kelly for takers with substance.

7 Grumpy Mad-Libs

 I may have mentioned once or twice that I have very little patience with the dismissal of the wisdom of earlier times on the sole ground that it was formulated earlier.

Ok, maybe more than twice.

Maybe this entire blog is about that.

Perhaps.

Anyways.

I stumbled upon one of G.K. Chesterton incredible jewels of foresightedness the other day, demonstrating once more his genius for analysing and pin-pointing exactly WHICH changes in society were going to have the most lasting and dreadful impact. And then I wondered whether others would be able to see what I saw, even if they buy the idea that our time is the best, most liberal of times, and our thinking the best thinking.

The thing is, I think they wouldn't consider it relevant purely because of my favourite Gilbert's (sorry house-plant, but no, you don't compare) choice of examples . 

Gilbert the peace-lily.

 

Better Gilbert.

So, to help with that, I have decided to mad-lib some of the most revealing quotes I know. I apologise for really lacking the talent necessary to appropriately replace the masterfully chosen words of the people I am mad-libbing, but it was fun to do.

1.

Let's start with this, a speech rejoicing at a reform of the welfare state:

"No lazy benefit thief could lounge up to the job centres and demand his week's allowance and council house in proportion to the children he had left at home. No teenage mum could parade in designer clothes on the money she received for the keep of her children from three different fathers." 

Here is the original, and the context in which it was uttered, just in case any Tory or pub-stool philosopher felt like stealing the line for their next rant against benefit frauds:

"No lazy pauper could lounge up to the poor houses and demand his week's allowance and loaves of bread in proportion to the children he had left at home. No dissolute woman could flaunt in insolvent finery on the money she received for the keep of her illegitimate children." 

Discourse in the House of Commons on the 1834 Act instituting the workhouses.

Because blaming poverty on the poor and forcing them into workhouses was such a brilliant plan for society. 

2.

Here is another one every person thinking of joining academia should bear in mind before swallowing whole the bias/inter-textual gimmick as the only approach to analysing ideas :

"Just as one generation could prevent the very existence of the next generation by all entering a monastery or jumping into the sea, so deconstructivists can in some degree prevent further thinking by teaching the next generation that there is no such thing as human thought." 

And here is the original I haven't really improved:

"Just as one generation could prevent the very existence of the next generation by all entering a monastery or jumping into the sea, so one set of thinkers can in some degree prevent further thinking by teaching the next generation that there is no validity in any human thought." 

Chesterton, Orthodoxy


Now for a selection from one of the most thought-provoking essay ever written:

3.

"We make men without principles and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and demand the castrated be fruitful."

4.

"A great many of those who 'debunk' traditional or (as they would say) 'backward' values have in the background values of their own which they believe to be immune from the debunking process. They claim to be cutting away the parasitic growth of bias, religious prejudice and societal constructs, in order that 'real' or 'basic' value may emerge."

And yet, such destruction of values and principles has unintended consequences...

5.

"The rebellion of pseudo-liberalism against old-fashioned morality  is a rebellion of the branches against the tree: if the rebels could succeed they would find that they have destroyed themselves."

Those last two quotes are really meant to go together, because moral relativists always implicitly draw the line of relativity somewhere, but will find they have destroyed the only way to protect such a line from being crossed by denying the existence of a line to others.

Here are all three quotes, as their author (rightfully) intended them:

"We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful."

"A great many of those who 'debunk' traditional or (as they would say) 'sentimental' values have in the background values of their own which they believe to be immune from the debunking process. They claim to be cutting away the parasitic growth of emotion, religious sanction and inherited taboos , in order that 'real' or 'basic' value may emerge."

"The rebellion of new ideologies against the Tao is a rebellion of the branches against the tree: if the rebels could succeed they would find that they have destroyed themselves."

C.S Lewis The Abolition of Man

6.

And here is the Chesterton quote that gave me the idea in the first place:

"If there is one thing worse than the modern weakening of major morals, it is the modern strengthening of minor morals. Thus it is considered more withering to accuse a man of bigotry than murder. Healthy living is not a religion nowadays, for healthy living is made essential and religion is regarded as an offence. A TV series can attack religious freedom so long as it does not joke about gender, and I have known liberal progressives who thought it wrong to smoke but right to encourage euthanasia."

And its original version:

"If there is one thing worse than the modern weakening of major morals, it is the modern strengthening of minor morals. Thus it is considered more withering to accuse a man of bad tastes than bad ethics. Cleanliness is not next to godliness nowadays, for cleanliness is made essential and godliness is regarded as an offence. A playwright can attack the institution of marriage so long as he does not misrepresent the manners of society, and I have known Ibsenist pessimists who thought it wrong to take beer but right to take prussic acid."

Chesterton On Lying In Bed

So there you go. Wisdom from the olden days, updated. 

7.

Now I completely agree with you that this exercise is as much of a murdering of beautiful prose as the countless "Bibles in text-speak" or "Slang Bibles" which are supposed to update timeless wisdom and beauty and make them somehow appealing to the demographics they try to ape. But maybe someone, somewhere will be tempted by this to listen a little more closely to what these people had to say, in which case it would be worth it.

Now I am going to go and be grumpy in that  corner over there.

Go to Kelly for less grumpiness.

7 Quick Takes: Lisieux and French Parenting

1.

As the canonisation of the Martin spouses approaches, there is one word all English-speakers must fear, and yet increasingly find themselves having to use - breaking my ears in the process - (because there is only so many times one can refer to "The Little Flower") and that is...

of course...

Lisieux!

Now, in the spirit of charity, here is the final, definite guide on how to pronounce this word (it's ok, you can trust me, I'm French, this is my first language we are talking about).

LEE-ZEE-ER 

(not "la-sor" or whatever people say as quickly as possible because they want to please, please, please be done already with this word hoarding more silent letters than an Irish first name).

And don't worry about emphasis, we don't use it in French (hence the quite poetic reference to my people as "shouting in whispers", because that's what it sounds like if you don't emphasise words).

2.

The correct spelling is "Thérèse" (one accent up, one accent down) if you want to be super authentic, but I don't hear the Italians moaning about Saint Frances of Rome not being referred to as Francesca, so I personally don't mind.

3.

If you feel pedantic, you can also refer to the "Martin" without the "s" at the end, because we don't pluralise proper nouns in French, but that may be slightly pushing it.

Now you are all set! Bring on the canonisation!

 

Although, we would really need more pictures of them together. Oh well!

4.

I was re-reading Bringing Up Bébé last week, mostly because the last time I read it Jude wasn't born, and I wanted to see if I had started to bring him up as Pamela Druckerman says French babies are brought up. Mostly, it made me feel really homesick. 

I long for the place where no-one will wave a snack in Patapon's face at all hours of the day, no-one will want to know how I bring him up, or compare parenting philosophies, so long as he is reasonably amenable in public, and people think my needs are as important as those of my child. 

Also, as an aside, having my family around would help. 

Plus, summer is actually an option over there. (Don't even look at me English summer. I'm not talking to you anymore.)

5.

Of course, I am not exactly missing the "Why are you still breastfeeding him? You need to cut the cord!" I was served for months until I did stop, nor the scrutiny over what I eat whilst pregnant. 

But this Anglo-American way of bringing up children baffles me, and I often just want to cut it out, and stay home, so I won't have my child marched back to me if he is straying for more than a couple of metres, or parents guffawing at me "He slept through the night at 2 months? Mwahahahahahahaha, wait until the second one is born!" (Why, people, why? Do you relish the idea of other people suffering THAT much? Is feeling your parenting choices are validated over mine THAT important?).

There is not accurate French translation of "Mommy Wars" because there is no such thing. 

6.

Another thing the book brings to the fore is the idea that perhaps, maybe, we are making parenting a lot harder than it needs to be? 

And in any case, it is plenty hard enough without having to feel like every single thing your child does is a reflection on you, and an invitation for others to despise and criticise.

I wonder if this has to do with that strange contraceptive culture of ours, seeping into even non-contracepting mind-sets. The idea that YOU BROUGHT THIS CHILD ON YOURSELF NOW YOU WILL DEAL WITH IT! 
If children are a decision and a project, then your responsibility is indeed enhanced, and you HAVE to make it a success, whatever the cost (or what success means). The fact that Patapon is not a project or a "it", but a person and a "he" seems to go wholly unnoticed. In fact, parenting philosophies seem to be a lot more about the parents than the children.

I often find myself slipping into this mindset, and I need to remind myself that Patapon is not mine, he is God's and his own self. All I can and should do is help along.

7.

Now, on a slightly less depressed note, and in the spirit of making life simpler for ourselves, Patapon wanted to share with you the path to contentment:

One bottle. One Winnie. One pillow. Done.

Although compotes are pretty blissful too.

Now you know.

Kelly's got all the other takes.

{7QT} Confused Pet Owners and Post Questions

1.

Jenny's Dog-Mom post made my blood boil. Mostly because of the comments. The whole "I'm-my-pet's-Mum" thing is at best a little creepy, at worst fundamentally de-values what a human being is (hint: not an animal). And it goes beyond a mere joke, believe me.

Confusing?!

My husband's older sister died age 16, and I know my mother-in-law has had to face many comments from people comparing their grief for their animals to hers. She is one of the kindest persons I know, so she certainly handled it with charity.

I, however, do not feel full of charity (I know I should, and I know I am failing).

2.

I am trying to figure out which posts to publish. I have plenty of ideas, but I don't want to simply indulge myself. So I am going to be brave and ask questions here, just in case someone is willing the weigh in on my dilemmas (being fully prepared for the proverbial crickets).

3.

I have a rant-y post all ready about the whole "Surrender-Monkey" stereotype of the French and the history (or lack thereof) behind it. Should I post it? Would it be actually useful? 

It would have maps!

4.

Jenny again (I love Jenny), asked about sleep training (brave lady), and I mentioned the French method in the comments. Would anyone care for me to elaborate on said method, or does my experience of ONE baby not seem like enough and therefore, should I come back in 4 or 5 babies thank-you-very-much?

5.

Thumbs up or down to more posts about kids' books? I still have plenty to say, but that may not be good news to some.

6.

Not strictly post-related, but on a scale of 1 to Absolute Futility, how futile is it to try and discipline a 10 months-old? Asking for a friend ;-)

7.

Go to Kelly for more articulate posts.

7QT : Harry Potter shame and Northern heart-throbs

1.

I have written a post about how much I hate having to leave my baby at nursery to go to work. But I am worried that if I post it, I will break the internet. Or, more likely, lose all my friends. Because who complains about being lucky enough to have a job that feeds the family? Me, apparently.

2.

Patapon has taken a sudden liking for animal sounds of all kinds, he thinks it’s the best thing ever in the universe, flaps his hands and screams with glee when I do it. Weirdo. Not really, it’s adorable!

3.

I did a quiz on the internet, secure and confident in my ability to call to mind huge quantities of Harry Potter trivia, and then, and then... I failed to remember that Harry Potter is the Master of Death, because he is the only one who gathered all the Deathly Hallows. I am deeply ashamed of myself and may have to hand in my HP-fan card.

4.

I have been struck by a revelation: Mr Darcy, Heathcliff, Mr Thornton, Robin Hood, Ivanhoe, they are all from the North! I live in an intensely romantic region! Haha! Of course, so are Richard III and Mr Norell, but, you win some you lose some, I suppose.

We got Darcy! <little dance of joy>

5.

I think I am going to have to admit that I am simply not that taken by Chesterton’s Francis of Assisi. But I love G.K so! And I loved Thomas Aquinas so! I think I may be broken. Actually, thinking about it and #3, I definitely am.

Don't worry Gilbert, you're still my fave

6.

 We watched My Fair Lady the other day (told you, definition of cool around here), and am I the only one who thinks the film makes absolutely no sense? I mean, the play already made very little sense, despite Shaw's lengthy explanation at the end of how his characters are basically doomed to mediocre lives of bitterness and strife, but although the epilogue doesn't show (Shaw! See what I did there?) a very insightful understanding of human nature, at least it gives us an idea of what the author intended. "Eliza, where are my slippers?" makes no sense whatever.

Is she coming back to stay? Are they getting married? Is she marrying Freddy like in the play? I don't understand!

7.

4 years ago today, I went on my first date with Simon. He said (still does) “Blimey!” and “Jolly good!”, who could have resisted?

7 Quick Takes: Should I Start a Blog?

Why:

1:

 I have been reading many Catholic mums’ blogs for a couple of years now. I love following other families’ thoughts and lives as they unfold, and feeling part of a community (devout Catholics are thin on the ground where I live – although there are some!). They teach me a lot, they reassure me a lot, and they often make me laugh.

Kendra, for example, is my life guru. I even met her once, in person, and I completely missed the opportunity to go all fan-girl on her (mostly because her and her family are such lovely people they gave me the impression they were really interested in my life and in my ramblings about the French Revolution, but also because I am awkward. So I was being awkward. Unless I was rambling. Plus I was eight-month pregnant, that’s always a valid excuse for anything, right?)

So, the internet is full of these wonderful people, and I started wondering, should I join in?

2:

I have recently stopped my PhD in history, and whilst it was the right decision, I do miss writing and getting a reaction back. However, I do not have the self-discipline and the singleness of purpose to try and write a book (otherwise, I’ve got a friend who could help!).

So blogging feels like a good fit.

Not my actual books.

Problems:

3:

The trickiest question for me is, if I write, should I write in English or in French? Because most of the blogs I read are in English, English feels like a more comfortable blogging voice. However, if I write in English, most of my French family is excluded, which also robs me of even the reassuring comment by my mum which would prove to me SOMEONE is reading.

But, a little mortification is not a bad thing.

4:

Also, are my motivations laudable? There is this line from the Litany of Humility that sat uncomfortably with me as I was considering blogging: “From the desire of being loved...” Am I just seeking personal gratification? 

But then again, there is no guarantee I would get any kind of reaction. The internet, it is big my friend! Besides, I hear the blogging world is on the wane anyway (aaah, jumping late on the bandwagon, the story of my life!) Plus, I am bad at taking risks, so I can call it therapy.

And a little mortification is not a bad thing.

5:

Do I have anything to say? I am a mother of ONE, and he is 9 months. I am hardly the font of advice the internet needed.

But a good one.

On the other hand, I am a French person living in England, trying to raise my son a Catholic in a hostile environment whilst balancing two cultures. And I can talk about history. I used to be PhD candidate after all, so I may still have a couple of insights to offer, right?

How:

6:

How do I even start a blog? My photography skills are minimal, and my technological know-how at the nadir. Well, I had reached that point in my deliberations, when Simcha stepped in the other day; so maybe, I’ll give it a go!

7:

Looks like it’s happening! Run to the woods!